Recovering From The Pain
by DaddysAngel1013
Summary: Months after a tragic wreck that took Cece's life, Deuce learns to coop from his secret crushes passing and struggles to find reasons to love his own life and to continue living. How will Deuce learn to be happy? Will he be able to overcome it all or will he be stuck in his dark state of mind? I'm rating it T but I might change it later to M if i feel it necessary.
1. Denial

It had been months since the tragic ending to a young girls life. The memories kept flooding back to Deuce's mind. "No, no! she isn't gone! She was his first crush. While he had never admit it, he secretly loved Cece with a passion that couldn't be explained. Except now she was gone. Everyone else grieved, went through a mourning period, and soon got over it. But Deuce refused to except it and was stuck in an emotional prison. He was hurt and stuck. While life was moving on for everyone else, he was left behind in his own state of mind. He refused to leave his room. The days were passing by and all the happy moments, even lifes most grand celebrations brought Deuce no delight, because he refused to believe she was gone. Till one day he got a visit from an old friend who had enough.

"Deuce... Deuce, you musn't be so sad. You must move on. My life is gone, but all I wanted with mine is to live to see all of lifes wonders. And if I cant, I want to make sure everyone else does." Deuce awoke to the sound of literally an angel, because as he turn over in bed and opened his eyes, he saw the beauty he lost, Cece.

Deuce didn't think it was strange to be awoken by his long lost love. He was in such a state of mind where everything was natural and he didn't care about anything different, it was all the same. "Cece, you dont understand. Its hard to be happy when your only source of light is gone. To lose all you care for? Losing you is like having the only medicine that works for you, to be discontinued." Deuce whispered to her.

"Deuce, you must understand. I have visited everyone else, and Deuce they are worried about you. I'm worried about you." By this point Cece's angel is on her knees on Deuce's bed, her head is cupped in her hands and she is almost crying, "I need you to at least try, try for me, go out into the world and be happy, live your life, and remember, on the other side of your window; the sky is bluer, the bird songs are prettier, the grass is greener, and the sun is brighter." Cece then started to fade away.

"Wait! Wait! Don't go!" Deuce shouted as Cece faded out of sight.

"Shh... Don't worry, I will be back, soon enough." Cece whispered as she completely disappeared. And for the first time since the moment directly before they crossed that street taking her life, Deuce smiled. He did as he was told and he tried.

He got up went to the mirror in his little washroom, and he brushed his teeth and took a shower. He hadn't found the will in the past few days to shower, and he needed a deep clean. While he was in the shower, he thought about why the lord took her from him. He also thought about how much he missed her, but he also missed his family, when she died, it was like he died with her. He lived in his room, where he refused to leave. His mom occasionally brought him food and checked up on him. Yet he still missed everyone, Rocky, Ty, Dina, Flynn, (his angel) as well as things like fresh air, grass, sunlight, he even missed television. He then hopped out of the shower and dried off. He threw on a grey t-shirt and dark, worn out jeans, and he didnt care enough to check his hair. He walked downstairs for the first time in last two months. He turned into his mom's room and lightly knocked on the doorframe, and came in. His mom was surprised to see him, and quickly shot up to hug him. Deuce told her that she was going to go to Rocky's apartment to chat. He turn and left the room, and grabbed a granola bar as breakfast and stepped out the door.

Deuce was hit with a brightness he hadn't seen in so long. The last time he was outside, he and Cece were crossing the icy street that claimed her life. Now it was a beautiful, bright, blue sky. The fountain was on, spraying water that glittered in the light. There were flowers, and little children on bikes. Deuce came to street that the event had happened on and he crossed it, for the first time since. He crossed it swiftly with his eyes closed to keep from bringing back the painful thoughts. He soon came the set of double doors at the front of Rocky's building and he started up the stairs, and then he came across Cece's old floor. He stopped there and went to his knees in front of the door. He had a moment of thinking of Cece, when the angel came back.

"What are you thinking?" The angel asked Deuce as she came to her knees next to him in front of her apartment door.

Deuce looked up to her and he answered with,"You were such a big part of my life, and just like that you were gone, and I don't believe it" Their was a moment of silence and then she spoke.

"You should go in. Talk to my mom, go in my room, talk to Flynn." Angel said then stood up and started to walk away and fade as she did.

Deuce stood up and decided he would visit the Jones household after he spends well needed time with Rocky and Ty, and he continued up the next flight of stairs. He reached the Blue's apartment and knocked gently. A moment later, Rocky open the door and quickly brought deuce into a hug. She wrapped her arms around his neck, while he wrapped his arms around her back. Around thirty seconds later they unlatched and Rocky had tears down her eyes.

"Hey, hey, hey. What's wrong? Why are you crying? It's alright." Deuce quickly said once they let go.

"It's just, I mean, I just can't believe it" Rocky was streaming tears, mumbling and stumbling over her words. She was having a hard time speaking.

"It's alright, it's alright. Shh..." Deuce comforted Rocky and pulled her towards the couch. Rocky and Deuce sat in silence for a moment.

"I j-just can't believe all that has happened! I l-lost my very best friend, and my other friend just disappeared for two months. I've lost all happiness, I have been lonely and I feel m-my-my life j-just slipping away." Rocky poured her heart out drowning away in her own tears. In the past months she had lost all hope. She felt alone, and found a friendship with herself. She found her deepest thoughts and fears and scared herself. She found her biggest fear was being alone.

Deuce felt sorry for her and couldnt help but cry with her, "It's alright, I'm here. I'm here for you",the only words he could bring out of himself. He pulled her head up to his chest and laid his head on top of hers. She held his arm tightly, while he wrapped his free arm around her back. They fell asleep like that on the couch for three hours. Deuce awoke first and got Rocky up and they left the apartment and went to Crusty's.

_**Denial**_

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**So what do you guys think? Is this something I should continue? Let me know in the Reviews! Thanks for motivation KyoTakashi!**


	2. Anger

As Deuce and Rocky stepped into Crusty's they were greeted with an empty building. No one was there but the door was unlocked. Deuce turned on the light revealing Cece's angel.

"I see you visited Rocky, Deuce." The angel said to Deuce. Deuce's and Rocky's mouths open as they glanced at eachother.

"Wait, whoa! I though I was the only one that could see her. Deuce you see her too?" Rocky was in shock at this new information.

"Well, Yea she started to visit me this morning." Deuce tried to explain.

"I've been visiting the two people who need the most help getting over it. Only you two can see me. No one else knows. And you two are not going to tell them. We don't want to remind them of the past when they are clearly over it. Oh and when we are together just call me Angel." Cece's angel explained to the others, clearly in shock.

Deuce didn't feel comfortable with Angel. He had just started to get used to the fact that no matter how hard he tried, she wasn't coming back. But now she is back, but Deuce now knows that everything good, leaves. He is worried he is going to put his feelings and trust into Angel, just to have her go away again. "Why are here, now?" Deuce calmly, and softly asked.

"Well, seeing you in bed day after day, with your life sinking by, I didn't want your life to go by empty handed, like mine did. I didn't get to go to my sweet sixteen. I will never drive. I will never have a family, or dream job, or grandchildren to play with when I am old and retired. I didn't want your life to go buy like mine will." Angel dragged out.

"Oh, Angel!" Rocky exclaimed. She was in tears and with those words she sped walked to Angel pulling her closely to a hug.

At this point, Deuce was slightly annoyed, "How do I know you arent just going to leave again! How!" Deuce was angry and sat in the nearest chair. His face in his palm.

Angel pulled a chair next to him and pulled his hand from his face and in a whisper she said, "Well if you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's meant to be. You set me free and now im back."

"I didn't set you free; you were forced free! And now you are just here throwing me a pity party! And you are going to leave again. So why should I put my trust in you!" Deuce practically yelled.

"No, Deuce you have to understand! You need to know!" Angel shouted.

"Deuce! Wait!" Rocky called after him as he swiftly exited the building. He was angered and needed time alone to cool down.

Deuce left Crusty's and went to the park where he sat on bench next to the sparkling pond. His face in his hands, he thought about it all and he felt pain and resentment towards everyone.**_ Why did she leave me? What did I ever do to deserve this? Why, lord, didn't you save her?_**With these thoughts he quickly stood up and punched the nearest tree before putting his head on it in a river of tears. _**How could she do this to me? Why? Why?**_ His head was pounding with a migraine and he walked home. as he entered the house he slammed the door and didn't say one word to his mother and went straight upstairs to his room and locked his door. He took a moment to take a breath. He then slammed the wall, punching and kicking. He grabbed his coat rack and pushed it the ground. He ripped the blankets off his bed and sheets and pillows the same. Deuce knocked his bedside lamp off the table and it landed in a pile of broken glass, before he fell into a ball of tears and anxiety. He laid on the ground for around an hour and a half. He then got up and went to his washroom. where placed his hands firmly on the sides of the sink panting and red-faced. He then searched around in the medicine cabinet searching for a way to end it all. He came across a pill bottle still have full from when he had stitches a few years ago and needed antibiotics. He open it up. _**Still half full, huh optimism; as if.**_ He poured all the pills out into his hand and through them in his mouth. He tried to swallow but he couldn't they wouldn't go down his throat. Instead he started to choke on them all. After about thirty seconds of choking on them, he passed out and most of them; all but two, fell out of his mouth.

**Anger**

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**Do you guys see what I'm doing here? Hehe. Love ya lots! Please review!**


	3. Bargaining

Deuce woke up the next morning in a hospital bed. He was surrounded by Rocky and Ty and his own mother. He bruised up from when he fell. It was awkward and he barely spoke. When he got home he sat on the ground next to his bed. He ate his dinner in a uncomfortable silence with his mother. He hated his dinner and it made him nauseous. As he approached his room, Deuce thought about all that had happened. He sat down and thought about his regrets. He regretted being so rude to Angel. He got and went to bed.

As he awoke the next day, he didn't care about being up, and he laid in bed all day. A couple of days passed, and Angel never came back. Deuce went through one cycle and stayed in his bed as much as possible: Wake up at noon, go downstairs, eat a sandwich or cereal, go upstairs and lay in bed till seven, eat something for dinner, went to bed. The next night Deuce sat on his knees next to his bed and got in a praying position.

_**I will do anything to get her back. Please Lord, I will a better person. I will volunteer, think purer thoughts, clean more, be nicer to my family, anything! Just please bring her back. I will even give up myself for you to put her back, please! Please! **_Deuce prayed with tears down his cheeks. He later got out of bed and went outside to the street that it all happened.

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Deuce and Cece were crossing the street and Cece had headphones in. Deuce dropped his wallet and he turned around and went to grab it and as he was coming back a drunk driver was hurdling towards Cece on the icy street. Deuce called for her but it was to late. She was hit and killed on impact.

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Deuce stop his flashback. _**If only I had pushed her out of the way and got killed myself instead. I should have done that. Lord, take me instead of her. Why must it be her. I would do anything to have her back. Please bring her back.**_ When Deuce came back from his thoughts he found that he was walking towards her cemetery. On his way there he pick a bunch of Roses and Snow Whites Lace flowers and carried them with him. When he came to the cemetery he entered and took a moment to look at the long rows and columns of different headstones. He went down the row he had gone down so many times before visiting her. We he arrived to her column he carefully walked along the other graves to get to hers. He crouched onto his knees and laid the flowers beautifully around her shimmery headstone. _**It should have been me.**_

"Thank you" a faint voice whispered.

"I miss you. It should have been me." Deuce responded, ashamed.

"No, no. I'm glad it was me. So now I can forever look after you. I love you." The faint angel voice whispered.

"I love you too. How will I survive without you?" Deuce said puzzled.

"You will move on. You should hang out with Rocky. You two will be happy together." The angel replied.

"What about you?" Deuce asked.

"I will always be here for you when your time comes. Go, go to her, go to Rocky." The angel implied.

"Goodbye, I will forever miss you." He cried.

"I promise it won't be forever. Goodbye." The angel whispered.

He left the cemetery and pick more flowers. He went home and got a vase to place the flowers in. He went to the store and bought beautiful, lacy, card paper. He then wrote the most beautiful love letter.

Through the fire and flames this letter stands true  
You are my one, my only, Rocky Blue  
You are the one I need to be with now  
To be happy again; I don't know how  
But when I'm with you i'm closer to happy than without.  
Through the fire and flames; I need you  
-Deuce

He typed this in a beautiful cursive font on the most elegant, lacy, glittery paper. He then carried the flowers in a vase, and the letter out his front door. He then went to Rocky's apartment without stopping to look at Cece's. He knocked on Rocky's door and then quickly left. On the way out, Deuce stopped and visited the Jones family. He played video games with Flynn, and played action figures as well. Then suddenly as Deuce and Flynn were sitting on the couch watching television Rocky quickly appeared through the fire escape. Deuce turned around to see what was going on and immediately Rocky dashed for him. He quickly turned around and she jump onto him holding on with her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. They pulled each other into a deep passionate kiss. Flynn had left the room due to the absurd scene and Deuce and Rocky fell onto the couch. They then continued their intense make out session, but then stopped to speak of more serious matters.

"It should have been me, Rocky. Why couldn't the truck take me instead. I would give anything for her to be with me here today." Deuce  
complained to Rocky.

"I know you feel bad, but there is nothing you can do but move on. You can't change the past, you just have to keep looking to the future." Rocky comforted him. Now understanding that he can't change it he knows that he will never get her back.

**Bargaining**

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**Did you guys enjoy this chapter? This is my third update in one day but i'm trying to rush because I wont be able to update again till Monday, unless I get it down today! Tell me what you think in the reviews! Also P.M. If you think you know what I am trying to represent in this story!**


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